Screen Magazine: Vol. 28, Issue 21

Screen Magazine - Index

Screen Magazine - Screen Magazine: Vol. 28, Issue 21 - Index

��
��
��
“Do you have a Kleenex?” On its own,
the question is simple. But in the context
of the English language, it sticks out like a
tattoo from the night America got drunk
on capitalism.
A lot has changed since we stumbled
into that ink parlor. We used to fall in love
with the verse of Shakespeare. Now we use
whimsical, trademarked words like Kleenex
to describe any old snot rag. It’s even worse
in Europe, where they say Kleenex when
referring to the U.S. dollar.
Verbs are also getting a taste of the action.
Look at how popular the activity we call
Googling has become. I Google people all the
time. I talk about Googling people all the time.
I even enjoy saying the word Google. It’s like
a hybrid of goose and ogle, yet it has nothing
to do with either of the two. You can Google
people without committing any depraved
touching or perverted innuendo. Just the other
day I Googled a bunch of supermodels and...
Well, at least I can Google an address without
violating anyone.
The point is, consumerism dominates the
culture of the United States and culture defines
our national personality. In some ways, this
proves to the world that our democracy has
strayed far from the path of enlightenment.
In other ways, however, it gives us an endless
palette of colors from which to choose pants
and an epic list of quirky brand names that can
be used as common nouns. For the most part
it’s been kinda fun. Until recently.
The wordplay turned rough on September 17.
That’s when a college student took too long
asking a question at a forum with Sen. John
Kerry. As a result, he got “tasered.”
The incident sparked debate at newspapers,
talk shows, college campuses and bong sessions
throughout the Republic. Some denounced
the taserers as excessive. Some labeled the
taseree an agitator. Others went looking for
nachos. Everyone, it seemed, was obsessed
with the tasering.
Everyone wondered, “To tase or not to
tase?”
Thanks to a legion of camera phonewielding
students, the volts keep jolting on
YouTube. So far, it’s been viewed almost two
million times.
The clip doesn’t compare to the
adrenaline-pumping effects on the demo
for Taser’s new Shockwave device, which
can “drop everyone in a given area to
the ground.” But it does make a stunning
impression when the victim pleads, “Don’t
tase me, bro.’”
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��