Screen Magazine: Vol. 28, Issue 21

Screen Magazine - Index

Screen Magazine - Screen Magazine: Vol. 28, Issue 21 - Index

I saw the funniest commercial the other week.
The only thing was, I don’t believe it was
supposed to be funny. It was one of those fiveminute
spots for a bathroom de-mister product
called “Fog-Off!”
The more the announcer said the product
name, the more I laughed. I wanted to call the
1-800 number just to hear the person on the
other end say, “Hello, Fog-Off!”
I would dearly love to be a fly on the wall in
the boardroom.
A lot rides on a brand name. At the corporate
brand wonderland of Kraft Foods, naming a
brand is done with the greatest of precision and
a sense for the literal that would impress a tax
assessor.
A new ranch salad dressing line that is “light”
and “tasty” with a refreshing hint of “turmeric”
would be launched as, “New Kraft light and
tasty ranch dressing with a refreshing hint of
turmeric.”
It would give the average consumer a migraine
and the poor package designer a challenge as
big as, well, the last salad dressing launch. God
forbid the customer should become confused by
needless creativity.
I love a brand name that leaves you wondering
in awe, “What the heck they were thinking?”
Brands like “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.”
I look forward to their line extensions, “Oh
my God, I can’t believe you’re going to eat that
crap” and, “Is that a heart attack you’re having or
a simulated butter taste?” I would buy this stuff
just to impress my friends.
Brand names work when the marketing makes
you want to wear that brand’s name with pride.
“Badge-value,” they call it.
Take Nike. Powerful, resonant marketing has
created such an über-brand that you can almost
hear the choirs of angels singing as you put on a
pair of its shoes.
Ultimately brand names work when the world
starts to use said name as the de-facto descriptor
of entire categories. For instance, “Pass me the
Post-it Notes, Bob,” or, “Are you finished with
that Kalashnikov, Serge?
Equally brand names work best (for me) when
they just plain make you laugh. Hence my glee
when only yesterday I saw a commercial for a
company called Tuff Shed!
“You want a place to store your tools? Well
Tuff Shed buddy.”
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